We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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