just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize