How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I want a musical about memes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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