I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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