Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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