I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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