lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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