my soul wont recognize me after tonight
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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