I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize