ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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