He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
