So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize