I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
