Kareoke will never be a sober sport
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
