Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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