if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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