Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
