I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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