Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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