I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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