Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
