My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize