we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
