Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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