OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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