the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
