i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
