we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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