For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
