distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
