It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This baby is an asshole
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
