Soap is not a condiment
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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