so that wasnt chicken after all
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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