Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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