I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
