I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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