i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
