i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
