He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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