this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
