Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
someone threw a dead crab at me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
