what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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