I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
