Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
