There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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