found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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