even my farts smell like vagina
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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