i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
