I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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