i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
