literally had 100 drinks last night.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This house was built for laser tag.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
