Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
