they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You took a bar mat shot.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
