will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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