So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
