we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
