so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
