Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
pop tarts are not kleenex
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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