Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
