Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
