D3 body, D1 cock
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
