Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
