I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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