I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize