I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
