Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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