I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
