stop calling my apartment porn island.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
