You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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