I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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