so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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